My Mother's Will
by True China Sorrows
Summary: She reflects upon those who have departed. - 古劍奇譚.
1. Chapter 1

My Mother's Will

The birds were singing high above. The sunlight was opening its eyes anew. The lush green grass swayed like waves.

Ā Ruǎn stood alone. She clutched herself and her flute and watched the day's beginning. Her companions were all still sleeping. They needed their rest. She sighed, glanced down and watched the earth breathe.

It was a familiar sight. Her mother had often sat, watching and listening. The peace of her silence seemed absolute. She had often envied her, being too young to sit and listen as she so craved to. She spent what time she could with her mother, but she knew the sounds of life would always call her away.

She took to her father's companionship frequently. He would play without distraction and race her through the woods. He was a friend of birds. They flocked to him and he treated them kindly. His favourite, his friend, was gone, had died long before.

Ā Ruǎn took a deep breath. She ran her fingers along the edge of the flute. It was smooth and comforting. She would play, but not quite yet. A sudden surge of bird song lifted her eyes. She sought them out and watched in silence.

She was not a fighter.

She was not meant for that fate. It burdened her and worried her. She touched softly the memory of her mother. It was her fate to be theirs. Their fate had ended. She looked away.

Her mother was not dead, was not re-incarnated.

Her father was not dead, was not re-incarnated.

They were lost, surrendering the existence of their very souls to be with one another for one long lifetime, to find one another, to love one another, to save one another.

Ā Ruǎn was alone when she played her special song.

She was always alone at heart.

**Author's Note: I wanted to write this as I did my first Cosplay at my first Comic Con. It was as ****Ā**** Ru****ǎ****n. I made the outfit myself. It took months but I adored it and I got the hairstyle right! Well, my mother did my hair, and very well, thank you mother. I always wanted to write this as the game (****Ā**** Ru****ǎ****n is in the sequel) hasn't been released yet. When it was first announced I thought that she was perhaps Q****ī****ng Xu****ě****, but no. Then, I thought, is she Q****ī****ng Xu****ě****'s daughter?**

**Thank you for reading my work.**

_Disclaimer: This is property of Shanghai Aurogon._


	2. Chapter 2

My Mother's Will

The leaves fluttered, dancing in the sunlight. A breeze was stirring and the small pond was rife with ripples. The residents wandered about, seemingly aimless. Their eyes were to the ground and the wind was to their backs. Ā Ruǎn clutched at her flute.

It was an almost painful sight. They had no thought for the world about them. Its beauty was imaginary to their averted eyes. Their souls knew no, or little, peace. Too soon their time would end without peace or the knowledge of its truth.

"Ā Ruǎn,"

She glanced up. "Xià Yízé,"

He was frowning. "Are you well? You seem troubled,"

She smiled. "I'm fine,"

He stared at her a moment longer. Questions lingered in his gaze. Then he turned, unable to voice his thoughts.

Ā Ruǎn sighed. She wasn't unused to concern. It was often that people glanced at her. Their curiosity was sparked when she appeared. They knew she was different just as keenly as she felt it. She averted her gaze. She missed her mother's warmth. She missed her father's warm hand upon her shoulder.

She began to follow after her comrades. They were needed elsewhere. The aches of the world were growing and, in the deepest depths of her consciousness, she questioned her own role in life. What life stemmed from dreariest doom?

What good could come of it?

Ā Ruǎn faltered. The birds were singing louder than before. The melody was one of old. Her father occasionally hummed in time. His kind eyes would follow the sky to a place that she couldn't fathom. She supposed, in her maturing years, that it was a place of death: the place her father wouldn't go.

She glanced back with eyes so sorrowful and distant that for a moment the birdsong paused. In the blaze of the fading day she found the shimmer of the lake. The water rippled towards her. The surface sparkled bewitchingly.

She spun around - heart broken.

"_Ā Ruǎn,"_

_She paused, and turned. The birds were gathering distantly._

"_Yes, māma,"_

_With eyes as calm as snow Qíng Xuě gazed out to the glory of the sunset on the lake._

_No word was exchanged between the two and young Ā Ruǎn had not the patience of her parents._

_She approached and sat by her mother's side._

_She rested her torso over her mother's legs._

_"Mā ma,"_

_Still no answer was given._

_As the sun vanished from the world Ā Ruǎn retreated, unhappy to have missed the birds._

"_If an entire instant is a lifetime, and we are together for an instant in this life, that is still an entire lifetime,"_

**Author's Note: That line was included in a fan song. I'm not sure if she actually said that but it's become synonymous with her. I would post the lyrics but I have no wish to dine with danger. I rather enjoy my account. However, you can find the lyrics and a download link to the song on **_Wuxia Edge_**. That's where I get my fix of things as I can't read Chinese any longer and I cannot listen to Chinese any longer… Truth be told, I cannot even speak Chinese any longer…**

_Gah!_** Oh, what have I done? What _have_ I done? I finished this weeks ago and I didn't upload it! Oh, I'll do it! I'll do **_Beautiful Eternity_** and **_Solemnity_** too!**


	3. Chapter 3

My Mother's Will

The shimmer of sunlight on a weary river sighed its way through the land. Ā Ruǎn crouched by it. She skimmed the surface with her fingertips. The water was cool unlike the dying day. The moon had risen above the edge of the world and still the heat seemed only to rise.

"Ā Ruǎn,"

She glanced up with a smile. "Yes, Yízé,"

He held out a small package. "Miss Wén Rén thought that you might be hungry. We have agreed to rest here for the night,"

She smiled at the contents. It would be good. Yǔ was skilled in cookery. Her smile became faint.

He noted the change. "Is everything well?"

"Thank you, Yízé," she forced herself to appear genuine. "I just feel tired."

He sat down on the bank next to her. She glanced at him curiously. He stared out over to the other side: to where the sun was fading.

"You have no reason to lie to me. I know I cannot aid you in retrieval of your memories," she stiffened at the mention of her lie. "However, I like to consider myself as your friend. I hope that you see me in that way as well. As such, if ever you wish to be listened to, I can give you my time."

She looked back out to the water. It shimmered beautifully beneath the crimson sky. The ripples danced, rising and falling as though one being.

The urge to tell him the truth was more prevalent. The words clung to her throat. She almost raised her hand.

"Yízé," she murmured. Her head down so as not to give away her lie. "I… I have this feeling. I feel alone. Sometimes I think of those people that were meant to be with me; my friends; my neighbours; my parents. I am almost comforted. Then I remember. No matter what I think of, it will only be a dream."

He was silent. She glanced at him discreetly. She wasn't expecting a response. Her heart fluttered. As she thought on it came to her acknowledgement that she wasn't seeking a response. She just wanted to let someone in on the pain that she was concealing.

Eventually, he looked at her. "This land is vast. The people are many. The places that we can go to are limited by the fragility of one's own lifetime. I know that we all hope to see the world, but we each long for home as well. Our journey will end. We shall part ways in time. In this life or the next our bond should enable us to meet once more. In the time that we have on this journey I think that we should go to many places. Perhaps you will find some solace in one of our destinations. If not, fate shall lead you to where you must be and we will all meet sometime in our inevitable end,"

There was a deep silence between the two. Ā Ruǎn glanced away. There was comfort for her in those words.

He paused. "I believe that Wú Yì is calling for me. Please excuse me,"

She stared after him as he departed. His comfort was waning. There were questions bursting forth into her mind that had no foreseeable answer.

Ā Ruǎn looked back out at the sun. "Māma, you were not meant to have a child. The life that you were meant to live… Will it end with me?"

**Author's Note: Well, firstly, I had a trouble understanding exactly where I would take this chapter. After that, there were so many videos appearing! I was so excited! Now, completing this chapter, the game has been released. However, I cannot have the deluxe edition. Since I am unable to read Chinese I won't be able to procure the activation code. Therefore, to have the added little pieces would definitely be a great pleasure! I would want all that I could have of it, regardless. However, I cannot possess it. As such, I've not felt the inclination to write as I have before. This chapter was meant to be happier. Instead, all of the sorrow that I possess has poured into the words…**

**What of my heritage can I hold dear in this land of strangers and desolation?**


End file.
